and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
