Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
