Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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