Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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