Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
