Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
only you would photoshop your dick
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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