It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i just had sex bonerless
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
