Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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