you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
