As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
