3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
porn star boner night. come get it.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
The Olympian is in my bed
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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