we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
