is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
