he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
