another moral hangover. fuck.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Couch. On fire.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
