Christians are straight up FREAKS
It's Friday. Sex?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
