i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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