dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I think I just sharted jello shots
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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