I just cut my nipple shaving
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
