I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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