so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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