At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
