My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
if i can run in heels then i can drive
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
