Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
