if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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