I heard we made out
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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