He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
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