I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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