North Korea, Best Korea!
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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