Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
