It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
The cops high fived after they tackled you
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize