Pass out mid-funnel last night.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
