I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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