At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
