i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
