Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize
