It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
