My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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