so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I need moral support for this bender
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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