just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
