Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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