I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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