I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize