dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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