Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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