Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
