Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
someone threw a dead crab at me
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
