By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
