Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i just google imaged poop.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
