Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
