I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
