You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
