Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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