I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
no you cant smoke seaweed
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
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