don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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