I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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